Hi *anita, i read you reply last night and have been thinking about what you said. I guess that when i start feeling better i don’t want to focus on anxiety any more because i don’t want it to run my life or define who i am, i feel i am in control when i am not struggling or having a panic attack…But then i thought a bit more about it (as i do) as you said “the anxiety is still lurking under the surface”

I took notice of this, its there in the tightness i hold in my muscles, sometimes i don’t even realize im doing it until i relax and go oh wow i was so tense, how did i not feel that. I hold my breath, another thing i do without realizing! until i take a big in breath and think oh goodness how long was i holding my breath for? i kind of hold myself when i am in a situation im not comfortable, cross my arms, or hold them close to my body instead of just standing open.. my body language is closed in new situations. i will wear my sunnies on off days to avoid eye contact. lots of little things that even though i cant “feel the anxiety panic” im still anxious… I know that this is going to take some time to master and i know i need to keep motivated to practicing new routines and habits. I do think that one day though that i WILL be able to get on top of the out of control anxiety.. for this i set no time limit, only take each day as it comes.

And yes Solve the problem , where did the xcessive fear come from, i am hoping the psychiatrist will offer some insight into this? and give me some guidance.I have some early childhood situations that i do think may have contributed to it, but im not sure how to fix it.

I am willing to discuss insight for sure but i was wondering if you could tell me a bit about your story? what led you here?

Kirsty