thanks anita for standing by me, i am grateful to have your trust and i also trust you with all my heart. I like your advice and thoughts especially about “who it is that decides for me what is perfect?” i think we should learn to trust our hearts more and dispel negative criticisms. my inner bully has been annoying me these days and its because there have been some people who criticize me because they think girls can’t be scientists. so my inner bully has been saying “why not focus on your health and stop acquiring knowledge? why not work on being pretty or athletic on something you can achieve?” well i like to work out and be healthy, my inner bully annoys me when it tells me that i don’t work out well enough or that i need to change some parts of myself to make others like me. i want to radiate confidence and knowledge without being cynical. I’m not very judgmental of other people, but i tend to be quite judgemental of myself at times and often times its because there are others who are smarter than me or more athletic than i am. however, i think my strong will will help me, i will find ways to stamp the inner bully down every time it rears its head. The inner bully doesn’t decide my life, it only hinders it. on a lighter note, andrew seems more laid back and isn’t as competitive; i think he is happy because he had a success with an electronic device that he was playing around with and also dave is helping him with parts of his essay. dave is great at keeping both of us laid back when we start competing academically. i am nervous about my essay grade for ap bio, but i think i did relatively well. i really enjoyed learning about how there are different chemical bonds that help maintain the molecules within the human body. i’m eager to get to the actual anatomy of the human body, but i love learning about the physical elements that make it up and the components of dna replication. i find that when i think about how much science amazes me, my inner bully diminishes a bit and i have a sense of confidence. i like hydrogen bonds in which a slightly negative oxygen pairs with a slightly positive hydrogen and keeps the molecule together, but oxygen which is more electron negative takes the electrons and becomes more negative. oxygen reminds me of the inner bully and how it takes more electrons (negative thoughts) and uses them to stay attached to the positive hydrogen leaving a polar molecule where the negative oxygen (inner bully) has the more power. i will use this and imagine me breaking the bonds and having a more nonpolar equal and more balanced relationship with myself.