Hi Norit,

You wrote, “I don’t trust myself, I take everything too seriously. I’ve rejected any support or nurturing, which I think is contributing to my empty feelings. But I find it so difficult to listen when people are kind; I don’t believe they mean it. I have no faith in myself, and with my anxiety over-think everything excessively. I’m trying to remember to live in the moment, to have faith I’ll be able to handle things, and say yes to opportunities. It’s so scary. I really hope things will start to change.”

My platitudes of ‘trust yourself,’ ‘live in the moment,’ and so on will make a difference when they are embodied. The process of embodiment can be long, or not. It doesn’t have to be long or complicated. It can be instant, it is possible. For me, it was a longer process, because my beliefs and conditioning were well entrenched. Those only appears to be a barrier, and I played that game rather than breaking through sooner.

I would not say I had low self esteem, but was not living my truth. To live my truth and express more fully who I am, I had to love myself enough to make hard decisions and make changes in my relationships and living circumstances. That was in 2000, and toughening up to make the changes certainly changed my life. Then I needed to be softened, and life provided the means perfectly. I was ‘put into’ many different positions as house parent and therapeutic couple for other-enabled adults, terminally ill patients and at-risk youth with my new partner for the next 14 years. Couldn’t ask for a better therapist than life.

Re-writing neuro pathways is one approach. A person can do that deliberately, as in therapy, or it can happen in the background, a natural response of the body-mind as you make conscious changes in your attitudes and beliefs and actions. How do you start trusting yourself? Say it out loud, “I trust myself.” Not just as positive reinforcement or affirmation, though they can be a place to start. It will grow more effective as you go into the feeling of the statement and have breakthroughs of knowing it is true.

Now, you may not feel attracted to my journey with its psycho-spiritual emphasis, for yourself. It has been wondrous for me, and nothing more joyful than conducting my own conscious evolution. I will just share the rest of my focal points. If any speak to you, allow yourself to go further into the meaning. Let life do its work in you.

Being the Present Moment

Being the original design

Opening the heart to give and receive

Being grateful for what is

Listening deeply to what Life is saying

Acting in the Flow

Letting go of what hinders

Embracing what nurtures and supports

Being the unknown, the mystery unfolding

Serving the wholeness of life