i know this is a late response, but wow, i relate to this so much..its such a painful thing to go through because this person was lovely and you know it COULD have worked but right now it just can’t. just keep going and reminding yourself of why you did it, some day it will become clear and you will understand you did the right thing. its a shitty shitty feeling but life is about pain and learning to go through it. i feel the same as you, so guilty and just want to contact him but its probably best not to 🙁 hang on in there, pm me if you need to x