thanks a lot anita;) i had a dream last night that i was walking along a bridge through a forest being guided by a wise old man in a blue robe. It was march and he lead me to a camping site near a mountain where people were building fires and leaving out in nature by a mountain. upon arrival, the people looked up and i heard a voice say “you have brought her to the right place. here she will find her place to heal and be herself.” the wise old man nodded and was off leaving me. i lived in the log cabin with the other people (who were all wearing gold robes and some white- those who were working on being enlightened- and they seemed to be enlightened with a glow) enjoying the smell of the pine trees and the smell of cooking fires. i saw a rushing river where there were beautiful fish and drank in the richness of life. i saw myself gathering cotton from cotton plants and spinning it into wool for clothing. when we were going to break camp and be off somewhere else, there was a snowstorm and we were snowed in. luckily, we had our sleeping bags of cotton and decided to camp at the base of the mountain and wait for the snow to stop. anyway when it stopped, after shoveling a few inches, we were amazed to see to snow crystallized on the tree branches and we stopped to take in the breathtaking beauty. we decided to stay where we were for a few days until the snow melted and the people began to make cotton clothing again. while picking cotton and enjoying the sunlight,i noticed a woman with no hair who appeared to be in her late eighties with back bent. she seemed to radiate an inner light and i felt myself feel sorry for her and how time had aged her, but she flashed me a brilliant smile and her robes of gold were like the flames of the divine lighting her up. i asked her if she needed help picking the cotton and hurried to help her with her basket, but she declined. after looking at her for a while, i was quite surprised to see she was the very image of me as time faded myself. looking closer into her face, i saw myself in her, the same tanness, the same brown eyes and slender body shape, the only difference was the lack of hair and her slightly stooped back. i realized that i was looking at myself in old age and yet instead of feeling sad, i saw her radiant smile, looked at her gold robes and at my white ones and i realized that we were one and the same. i took her hand and together she became part of me and i became part of her. i realized that she was the part of me that had attained fulfillment in life and even though her outer presence was aged, her spirit remained youthful and strong. 10 years later, i saw this woman in white gown with roses adorning her in a meadow where the sun shined on her and i realized she had passed on. this vision gave me a sereneness for my future and i realized that life is truly beautiful and should be lived to the fullest, it also took some of my fears and insecurities away. when i returned back across the bridge instead of an wise old man i saw the buddha and angels and was surprised, but when i looked at the discarded blue robe, i understood that wise old man had been the buddha leading me on a journey through my life. leading me back across the bridge the buddha began to tell me “Use your creative talents to achieve your fullest potential. You have divine knowledge, know what you believe inside and use it to live your life. Let the star in you light up the world and pay no mind to those who hold you back for their fire only brings ruins and ash while yours will bring divine love if you let it. Embrace yourself and be confident with who you are. Also know that you may be a scientist, but your spirit always lies in nature and the words of your soul are expressed through your poetry, use that to help you in life.” the one thing that the buddha said to me that made me a bit sad was that I would be guided by divine love all my life, but I would be a monk and wouldn’t have any physical relationships because I had dedicated myself to learning about the divine and not the physical things. I wanted to ask the buddha what would make me have a loving relationship in my life, but he left. i was pondering what he said when the angels came and lifted me up to the heavens and i felt my heart open to divine love and my body become a star and i knew that my life was enough and that all i’d ever be even single would be okay.