Arguments against relationships:
1) getting burned- emotionally, financially, etc.
2) takes time away from other things
3) could lead to a repeat of the issues found in family

Arguments for relationships.
1) companionship
2) self-actualization
3) love and the expression of love
4) possible financial and emotional growth

One of my problems throughout life has been a focus on the bad stuff and not so much the good. There are more good reasons than bad for a relationship. Just not sure why the no component is so strong. Kind of embarrassed by the realization that the position is likely rooted in fear.

38, soon to be 39, and afraid of something as simple as being with someone. Yeesh. I let fear control me for this long?

Perhaps maybe the reason I put in so many hours at work was because I was trying to avoid interactions/relationships/etc. not so lonely when working on projects, and felt good to be needed. When I would get home, would engage in diversionary activities.

Now, I realize how silly I was, and think of the opportunities I should have taken. However, still working on killing off that “no” voice. The “no” voice doesn’t really make sense in a general scope. Specific scope, yes. General scope, no. The “no” is more emotional based than logic based. Logically, yes wins, especially because no essentially means that I am incompetent in an area I have never fully explored.

I feel strongly about this last woman, and actually feel empathy toward her situation. Just a couple of weeks ago; she seemed happy and positive. Today she looked tired and glum, and expression I am familiar with. She used to like living out here, and today not so much. It hurt to see the change. I wish there was someway I could have brought back that happy person for the day.