Dear Anita,

I can’t reply so well right now. Normally I would read all the posts in this thread first and think carefully about what I would say.

This is my first post. Right now, I came here out of desperation. The gist is that I don’t know where I belong. I had trouble not only finding a place to belong offline, but also online. My family is okay, but doesn’t satisfy me. I have social anxiety also.

I posted on a social anxiety forum only to be slightly discouraged because I really don’t expect much from online communities. It seems that most people are lazy to read and write lengthier things over there. Is it okay to link to my post outside of this forum?

I have had a lot of progress since I first had social anxiety (it was triggered 10 years ago when I was bullied). I’m tired right now to expound, but I guess it’s because I overworked myself writing and searching for forums for half of the day. But basically I’ve made progress, and I’m happy at times. But there are times, just like now, when I’m back to old habits, doing “unnecessary things”, distracted from my work and feeling “desperate” to find something, anything.

I did start the day peacefully. I was doing my homework. Though I’m kind of use to the pattern that comes up after I’ve progressed a bit with my work. I end up feeling really unmotivated and confused like I don’t know what to do with my life.

When I start describing my situation to anyone, whether written or in-person, it often does get complicated and I give myself and other people headaches.

I’ve been familiar with TinyBuddha for a while. I usually just do a google search of my current concern and then usually find an article from here. I never went on the forums, though. Maybe this is what I need?