Hi Searchingforanswers,

Oooo I’m sooo sorry to hear about your broken engagement. That’s tough. I hopefully can offer some insight as I’m 38 and have been on both sides of this experience. I think it’s probably the most honest reason why some relationships don’t work out, at least for a time.

In my experience, most men will not get married until they feel like they’re successful in the world. Men by nature want to provide and protect, so if your man doesn’t feel that he’s in that place yet, it doesn’t matter how understanding you are (and you sound super understanding and mature) he’s not going to feel worthy of marriage. From what you say, your man seems like he’s getting himself together–which is good for him. And I believe when he says he wants to get himself ground before he can proceed.

But for you now–no contact with him is best. I hate to say that, because I know how hard it is, but it truly is the best thing for you. You’re only 24 (I know, so cliche) and you can do whatever you want. Like, WHATEVER YOU WANT. So why not explore what YOU want out of your life? I know it seems like he’s your whole world. But that will change. So maybe you’re not ready for a guy right now. Or even cocktails with friends. Maybe it’s a yoga class. Or a vacation by yourself to Belize. Or the Peace Corps. Who knows? The point is to not try and actively move on, but just let each day be what it is. Good, bad, ugly. That’s the thing about a broken heart. You just never know how you’ll feel, and sometimes it makes you have crazy great experiences you would never had had otherwise.

Take good care of yourself!

Pink:)