Dear cherryblossom:

You asked for “some advise of making magic or miracles happen.” My advice is: the magic or miracle you are looking for is you being assertive. Assertiveness is the magic.

I think that it doesn’t matter what are the motivations of your old boss in anything he did. What matters is that you assert yourself with him and make the job situation (if you work again with him) workable for you.

You wrote about working for him: ” I always did good work for less pay, I am gentle, kind of push-over and he could have his way with me”- this is the problem, that you were “kind of push-over.”

I am guessing that in your personal circumstances that you mentioned being turbulent, you are also not assertive. Am I correct? And so you feel that you are dependent on a miracle, magic and fate, the three words you mentioned.

There are circumstances you can’t change, but there are circumstances that you can change, so take on the challenge, exercise the power you do have.

anita