Dear Jagath:

You wrote: “There was no abuse, no domestic violence and I didn’t grow up poor. I had opportunites. So I don’t really know where else I could be digging…”

When you are a young child, you know nothing of terms like “abuse” and “domestic violence” and unless you are hungry and cold, you don’t know much about what “poor” means. It is later you hear and read about those terms.

When you are a young child, all you are is a developing brain and body dependent on your parents. Like other mammals you are intensely attached to your parents, particularly the one who handles you most. It is this emotional attachment that motivated the fawn, young deer, to follow its mother into the woods, because following her means food and protection, that is, survival.

You wrote in your post above: “I feel very estranged to them (your parents)”-

What happened between the time you were intensely attached to your parents, emotionally, reaching all out for their love, approval, guidance- and the time you are “very estranged”-

I think this is where the digging may unearth the answers you are looking for.

anita