Hi anita,

You gave me some insight in my situation. Non-functioning relationships ending, or relationship patterns.
The complexity of my rehiring comes as this is a huge company with many departments.
I wanted to apply for different department. Start fresh with new colleagues and new boss.
Trouble is, they always take feedback from my manager in former department.
According to his words, he gave positive feedback.
Then they initiated a rehiring process, raising request for approval from country HR manager
Country HR manager is the big boss of everyone, and he declined.
I have certain history in the company. I wholeheartedly can state that I have always maintained professional attitude and demonstrated knowledge and competence.
OK so first 3 years I was a top rating employee on zero level position, answering the phone, taking shifts, helping colleagues, team player. But obviously I had better potential, and my manager encouraged professional development. So I moved to a higher level role.
Going to that team, I face the following situation. My colleagues badmouth about our manager behind their back, and badmouth about each other. They tried to convince me against my manager but I refused to take sides until I got my own experience and impressions. Then they started bullying me as well. Maybe not less than each other but I was so young and unexperienced that I took it very bad. Basically they wanted someone to raise a complaint against their manager but that someone to not be them. In the end they might have succeeded, I guess, because according to linkedin that manager is now unemployed as well. So when I didn’t give in, they started bullying me and I ended up in HR anyway. It was a nightmare as I asked for internal transfer which took more than 14 months. At this point, I was working for my old unleveled salary, twice the work volume, assisting colleagues who asked me to translate from Spanish for them. When I finally transferred to my last team I no longer had powers to maintain combat mode so I was shorter than the grass. My team acted nice in front of me. At first I asked when will I get included in all project related communication and they said it was early. When they found out I went to my boss to tell him I have spare time they threatened me. So I gave up again. I just did whatever they told me to do, like a secretary. I no longer wanted people to link my name to conflict so I stopped telling my boss they won;t give me enough work. THey even trained me how to simulate business… But I did not stop asking my manager for additional ad-hoc tasks to maintain my skills. My boss thought I was too ambitious and refused. At one point, right at the time my family issues were at worst, everyone started rumorring that I was only faking business, and that even from my so called colleagues who didn;t give me tasks, so he decided to test me by throwing unbearable ammounts of work and telling me afterwards that these were highly critical projects with higher level of monitoring.
So, my so called “betrayal” was to tell the ugly truth as only way to save my skin…
When my boss found out what was going on and when he saw I completed the job, he offered me to stay but… it has been 3 months of nightmare and 10 kilos down weight… (and in general I am skinny)
So, I wanted to go back but in different department, other colleagues and manager, with lessons learned behind my back. There is another option available for me at the moment which could offer me very good payment, but bad location and night shifts… which is a huge downside for me.
As to my family, what’s done is done and at this point the no longer can shake the ground from underneath me. I saw their real faces and am not doing the same mistake twice.
And as for another direction, currently I cannot afford it financially, as this is the situation in my country.
I still relate the company with the good memories of my first 3 years. The nice location, easy access, comfortable, close to home, almost like home, some good people there.
Yes, relationships sums it up…