- This topic has 41 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 7 years ago by Anonymous.
September 21, 2016 at 11:05 am #115816AnonymousInactive
You gave me some insight in my situation. Non-functioning relationships ending, or relationship patterns.
The complexity of my rehiring comes as this is a huge company with many departments.
I wanted to apply for different department. Start fresh with new colleagues and new boss.
Trouble is, they always take feedback from my manager in former department.
According to his words, he gave positive feedback.
Then they initiated a rehiring process, raising request for approval from country HR manager
Country HR manager is the big boss of everyone, and he declined.
I have certain history in the company. I wholeheartedly can state that I have always maintained professional attitude and demonstrated knowledge and competence.
OK so first 3 years I was a top rating employee on zero level position, answering the phone, taking shifts, helping colleagues, team player. But obviously I had better potential, and my manager encouraged professional development. So I moved to a higher level role.
Going to that team, I face the following situation. My colleagues badmouth about our manager behind their back, and badmouth about each other. They tried to convince me against my manager but I refused to take sides until I got my own experience and impressions. Then they started bullying me as well. Maybe not less than each other but I was so young and unexperienced that I took it very bad. Basically they wanted someone to raise a complaint against their manager but that someone to not be them. In the end they might have succeeded, I guess, because according to linkedin that manager is now unemployed as well. So when I didn’t give in, they started bullying me and I ended up in HR anyway. It was a nightmare as I asked for internal transfer which took more than 14 months. At this point, I was working for my old unleveled salary, twice the work volume, assisting colleagues who asked me to translate from Spanish for them. When I finally transferred to my last team I no longer had powers to maintain combat mode so I was shorter than the grass. My team acted nice in front of me. At first I asked when will I get included in all project related communication and they said it was early. When they found out I went to my boss to tell him I have spare time they threatened me. So I gave up again. I just did whatever they told me to do, like a secretary. I no longer wanted people to link my name to conflict so I stopped telling my boss they won;t give me enough work. THey even trained me how to simulate business… But I did not stop asking my manager for additional ad-hoc tasks to maintain my skills. My boss thought I was too ambitious and refused. At one point, right at the time my family issues were at worst, everyone started rumorring that I was only faking business, and that even from my so called colleagues who didn;t give me tasks, so he decided to test me by throwing unbearable ammounts of work and telling me afterwards that these were highly critical projects with higher level of monitoring.
So, my so called “betrayal” was to tell the ugly truth as only way to save my skin…
When my boss found out what was going on and when he saw I completed the job, he offered me to stay but… it has been 3 months of nightmare and 10 kilos down weight… (and in general I am skinny)
So, I wanted to go back but in different department, other colleagues and manager, with lessons learned behind my back. There is another option available for me at the moment which could offer me very good payment, but bad location and night shifts… which is a huge downside for me.
As to my family, what’s done is done and at this point the no longer can shake the ground from underneath me. I saw their real faces and am not doing the same mistake twice.
And as for another direction, currently I cannot afford it financially, as this is the situation in my country.
I still relate the company with the good memories of my first 3 years. The nice location, easy access, comfortable, close to home, almost like home, some good people there.
Yes, relationships sums it up…September 21, 2016 at 11:26 am #115821AnonymousInactive
I do have some ideas for my own project and did some attemtps this year. But I see it takes longer than expected and I need some income in the mean time.
In my small country, this company is one of the biggest employers, and offers very good working conditions including home office. It is not fair to leave such people as described make use of it while me thrown away like garbage when I actually act as a professional.
I do want to have a second, better chance with the company, a bit wiser maybe. And resume my personal project in the spare time.
But right now I really need to find a good job. ANd it is not only depressing what happened in the past, the fact that I go to interviews. The thought of choosing a poorer work condition options after having this is even more depressing. It is just not fair.September 21, 2016 at 11:43 am #115824
Hi Cherry Blossom
My thoughts are with you in this very challenging situation you’re involved in.
It does seem to me that you perhaps don’t so much need a miracle but as Anita (I think) suggested you need clarity.
You are clearly very angry about what has happened and that is understandable. However, I wonder if your emotions are obscuring your clarity of thought?
From what you have said, it is very important that you find work as soon as possible. If this were happening to someone you cared about, what advice would you give them right now?
PeteSeptember 21, 2016 at 12:00 pm #115833MidnightParticipant
I understand. You are right, it isn’t fair. These people treated you badly and they get to stay there while you have to struggle.
I also understand that you feel that this company is your best option where you are. But consider this: you already worked at this company and the result was very painful to you, on a physical level as well as emotional one.
So maybe it seems like the best option, but it is not necessarily so. From my experience I know that the atmosphere at the workplace, working with and under good people, is very important. It is actually more important sometimes than salary and conditions, because working in a hostile environment, as you experienced, is awful.
I’m not suggesting you shouldn’t try to get back to that company in another department as you wish to do. I’m only saying this so that maybe you will not see other workplaces as necessarily so much worse and this place as being necessarily the best. Maybe things are not always as they seem, maybe if you got a job in a place that pays less but with nice people you would end up happier every day? It is very difficult to enjoy your life when working in a toxic environment. And maybe this being such a popular place to work in, people get more competitive and mean with each other there…?
But again my point is NOT – don’t go back there. My point is – even if you don’t manage to go back there, it doesn’t necessarily mean you would be miserable in another workplace.September 21, 2016 at 12:09 pm #115835AnonymousInactive
I know I may sound angry, but I had a year to process my emotions. Describing what happened, putting all this in words, is an expression of my clarity. I understand why writing this down makes me look angry – who wouldn’t be on my place.
But the fact is, this is the clarity of my conclusions of what hapenned, and I have accepted that. You should see me back then at the time this was hapenning – I was a ball of intense emotions, stress, feeling betrayed and surprised behind my back, without expecting this, without knowing why, without seeing this coming. For such long months I tried to find an explanation for myself, what have I done or said wrong to end up in this situation. I thought it was all my fault. I was seeing therapist and he repeatedly convinced me that it was not my fault, reassuring me that my reaction was normal considering the events. I didn’t believe him at the time.
I learned how to have better judgement of people, how to defend my position and my interest, how to stay alert. I learned how to better understand the situation and how to trust my own inner authority when making decisions, not be manipulated. I think this is clarity.
Right now what I know is I was about to get a job back in the company but somebody put s top on the process, so I use my diplomacy to try to win my place back. In the mean time, of course I go to other interviews. But things are hapening so slowly – I hear from employers I applied for months ago.
To be honest, I don’t know what advise I would give another person on my place…September 21, 2016 at 1:59 pm #115839
My apologies if I’ve mis-understood your emotions.
A different question then:
What’s your ideal work scenario? Describe what you would really like to happen at some point in the future.
PeteSeptember 21, 2016 at 8:49 pm #115848AnonymousGuest
Will respond to you in 12 hours or so.
anitaSeptember 21, 2016 at 10:00 pm #115858AnonymousInactive
I really don’t think that an ideal work scenario could possibly exist. Maybe a desired one, yes 🙂
You know, I have been working since I finished high school, maybe 10 years, and always had it well managed with people and situations unlike the last 3 years. Maybe they happened to teach me something, I have been thinking a lot.
I needed to keep my focus for a while on the past to figure out what happened exactly, and why, to find out the reason behind all this. I needed to have a clear picture in my head about my history so that I have my conscious in peace and acknowledge my mistakes, understanding exactly what they were so that I can fix them. I couldn’t have a clear future if my recent past was a blurry mess of negativity. Stating what exactly happened brought structure, and helped me extract the lessons from that experience.
But you are right, right now my focus is more on what I would like to happen some time better in the near future. I would like to make my way through, see if I can repair the damages, save what is still viable and leave behind the unfixable. I used to be very constructive and positive person before these things happened, then I just shut myself down and switched to survival mode… I would like to go back to my previous constructive self.
Get back to my former company, get a steady income, rebuild my life piece by piece. Start my own project in the spare time. This time making some savings, fix my debt. Make new friends, have a new relationship. Study that thing that I put off for years.September 22, 2016 at 12:27 am #115864
Get back to my former company, get a steady income, rebuild my life piece by piece. Start my own project in the spare time. This time making some savings, fix my debt. Make new friends, have a new relationship. Study that thing that I put off for years.
That’s quite some ambitions you’ve listed there. Well done.
Which one of them is the most important to you right now?
PeteSeptember 22, 2016 at 6:36 am #115880AnonymousInactive
get back to workSeptember 22, 2016 at 9:33 am #115897AnonymousGuest
I suggested Clarity may be the Miracle you need. I am still in the process of trying to get clarity about what happened and what your situation is. So two questions:
1. You wrote: “Country HR manager is the big boss of everyone, and he declined.”- one HR Manager for the whole country? And he disapproved of your employment- if so, this is a big problem as all potential employers go through the Country HR Manager. Is that correct? And how can you possibly fix this?
2. You wrote about what happened in your last employment: “Basically they wanted someone to raise a complaint against their manager but that someone to not be them. In the end they might have succeeded..” Do you mean by it that you did raise a complaint against the manager? If so, what was the complaint you raised and to whom? (to the Country HR Manager)???
anitaSeptember 22, 2016 at 10:28 am #115913AnonymousInactive
1.It is a big HR team but one executive authorizing the decisions. I am still not sure this is what happened, this is what I have been told, so I sent her a rehire request letter following HR advisors on the internet. I have met her personally before on the unhappy occasion with my former manager. She assigned dedicated HR responsible to monitor the situation and protect me while I was part of that team.
2. I did not raise a complaint against my manager. When I felt bullied by colleagues I went to HR office using so called “open door policy” allowing me to discuss issues with HR representative and not my manager. This happened because my manager was not present in the office, and I had seen him just once for months since I joined the team. He was working remotely but I was never introduced to him, only to his deputy, who was also absent at the time, so I felt uneasy reaching him by chat or phone about a delicate situation. When all this came out in front of HR representative, my manager was assigned a corrective action plan, something like a probation monitoring period requesting him to strictly follow his responsibilities as people manager, and with bad consequences if not. Funny situation how this came out, HRs asked me why I didn’t contact my manager, and he said – Yeah, I’m always available on the chat for you, why didn’t you tell me anything – and HR team was shocked to understand that my boss is only present on the chat and not in the office… So, it started with my colleagues bullying me and ended with my manager retaliating on me. I felt so ashamed for months. When in time my colleagues saw that my manager was still on the role, the tension grew and at one point it turned out that there were 5 or 6 more escalations raised within our team of 14 people. I didn’t want to know any more details, at the time I was just looking for a way out of the team.
3. So I went to my last role where I barely had a manager from the company take me for his team, and I was shorter than the grass, with so much pressure on me to prove that I am a good employee and not a trouble. This to explain why in a previous post I wrote the following: “There were events that led to other events and so on leading me to such a situation that I had no firm ground under my feet to stand on and assert myself”September 22, 2016 at 10:43 am #115917AnonymousInactive
About point 2 – talking about Fated 😀September 22, 2016 at 10:53 am #115918AnonymousGuest
Still trying to understand: regarding #1, your answer is that you think the country HR has a negative view of you as an employee and may be sharing it with employers you contact. But you are not sure.
Regarding #2: As I understand it, your co workers bullied you so you went to the country HR to have it resolved. It came about that your manager (and his deputy) were not present in your work place and that is why you went to the country HR. As a result, your manager was reassigned.
The fact that your manager- the one your co workers complained about- did suffer consequences- how is it that your co workers were not happy with that result? Isn’t it what they wanted, that the manager will suffer consequences and by you going to the country HR you accomplished exactly what they wanted?
anitaSeptember 22, 2016 at 11:28 am #115919AnonymousInactive
I am afraid that you did not understand me.
I was told that I was chosen for a job after an interview with the hiring manager, but country HR did not approve my rehire. That I was told.
I did not go directly to country HR to discuss interpersonal conflicts. She was involved afterwards. My manager was not reassigned as a result form that, but put under monitoring for a period.
As I said, I did not want to get into more details with the escalations that followed. This happened 3 years ago, then I worked for 2 years in another team. These days I was browsing linkedin and saw that manager unemployed since June, this year. I don’t know what the fuss was about back then and why 5 or 6 more escalations followed. But they were constantly talking behind his back and how incompetent he was, how he used them to provide him with updates and keep him up to date, how he was never an authority for strategic decisions as he asked colleagues for advise. One of them was very ambitious, and the most competent of them. I assume he was not happy to be inferior to an incompetent person.
As for me. I was in general very thankful to be given such opportunity by that same manager. He gave a chance to a number of people for a better career with lots of opportunities for learning and growth, without these people being related to him somehow. He gave chance to top performers. I never intended to harm his reputation. I was just too sensitive to the poisonous interpersonal atmosphere.