Dear Nekoshema:

You asked: “how do you get over that guilt from saying no for once?”

Scientifically speaking, saying no is connected in your brain with the feeling of guilt. It is the same kind of connection as in seeing a cake and feeling hunger for it (and starting to salivate). It is an automatic reaction.

So, once you understand that neural connection was made between Saying-no and feeling-guilty, you also know that the feeling of guilt does not mean that you are doing something wrong by saying no. You notice the automatic response and see it as automatic. You can talk sense to yourself and say something like: I feel guilty but I am not guilty. I am important. Etc.

anita