Hi, Norit.
Thank you for your response! I think I have just been waiting for permission, that my feelings are valid and that I am not crazy. I am so miserable in architecture course, I actually do have suicidal thoughts. So I run into my own fantasy world and wait until I can be free. But from what I see, there is no freedom waiting for me, just more responsibilities. And maybe I can have that grace and forgiveness for myself to just move on right now. And to validate my feelings and take them seriously. I feel like I have never been living, all my teenage years I spent procrastinating or starving myself. And I really do want to come back to reality.I am so afraid but I am so ready.