Dear allicia,

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling bad. But I am not surprised, like Anita I think this is normal. You are going through something at the moment and it’s not easy for you.

I know this movement of back and forth with anxiety, sometimes you manage to calm down and then the scary thoughts come back again, because you feel like you don’t deserve to be calm and happy. Is this how you feel now? I am wondering if the anxiety is not some kind of punishment you are giving yourself, not consciously of course. But I know how it works sometimes, you relax and then all of a sudden a voice inside of you says – how can you just relax there when this and that are wrong! When you are dropping out! How dare you be relaxed and happy when you are doing something you shouldn’t be and it’s all your fault! Does this sound like the kind of thoughts you are having? Let me know if I’m wrong, it’s just a thought I had.

I do think it would help you to see a therapist, can you make an appointment anytime soon? Sometimes when you make an appointment and know that you will see someone soon, the anxiety calms down a bit already.