Dear jlo5:

You are welcome. In your note to me you wrote: ” I am in such denial that he could be doing any of this on purpose”- I want to make the following point: whether he is doing what he is doing “on purpose” or not does not change the fact that he is doing what he is doing. A simple example: if you get stabbed by a sharp object, you bleed the same way whether the person doing the stabbing did it on purpose or by accident. The self doubt you didn’t have before but now you do, the shrinking (mentioned in your very last post) is such bleeding.

A person who behaves against their self interest on the long run, as your husband does, are not operating from adequate awareness. If they were- they wouldn’t be hurting themselves and suffering. So indeed, his awareness is limited, but the damage of his behavior is the same regardless.

anita