Alavos,
You hit the nail on the head when it comes to codependency. You do realize that your boyfriend is nothing more than an agent or representation for your alcoholic mother. I’m sure he is a good friend to you, but as for love this is more of a caretaker relationship. The reason you are afraid to leave him is because you are afraid of “running away from your mother” again, you understand. This pattern will continue until you put a stop to it. When you are not busy with your studies I would suggest going back in time and trying to sort things out with your mother and maybe even trying to connect with your biological father. Afterwards clarity becomes relevant and then self improvement appears. Once that happens you end up having little to no patience with those who continue to lower themselves, because you will be occupied with moving forward….becoming a successful lawyer.
Thank you and take care
-AP85