Aballa,

The escape plan you refer to should be very easy for me. At least in theory. There have been countless plans over the years and 12 months ago I rented a house to go and live in. It was a detailed plan (one of many). It wasn’t until 3 months after the rental period started that I managed to move in there but I only stayed just a few weeks before going back. I have no idea why I went back and as soon as I did, I wanted to leave again but have not been able to do so. I spent the rest of this summer and early autumn trying to get back to the rented house but couldn’t bring myself to do it because of my emotional state, which has been truly horrible. I have been a mess. The rental period was for 12 months and I stayed there for less than 1 month. Needless to say it was a very expensive exercise but I had to try and would do it all over again as the expense involved has little meaning relative to the bigger picture. In practical terms, there is nothing holding me back as I have financial security and there are no children involved. The plans you suggest have all been put in place on multiple occasions but nothing ever works out for me because of the pain and suffering, which overcomes me whenever I try to implement the plans. I don’t know why this happens to me. I know it is irrational and out of all proportion and I know that it is all tied up with my wife’s abusive behaviour and manipulation, resulting in psychological control. It’s a very powerful, terror inducing, influence from which I can’t seem to escape or switch off. I can not cope with it and I cease to function as a rational person whenever I try to leave. Good luck with your new found freedom and you must stay away from the addictive behaviour that is a huge part of these toxic relationships that we have been subjected to. It poisons the spirit until there is nothing left but an empty person. Take the antidote – not the poison.