Hi shouldibearebel,

It’s tough because there is a group of them.

What I would do is:

1. Get a group of your own. When you are in or at a gathering, make sure you are surrounded by YOUR people. Let them see you laughing in the middle of a group. Take some other moms out for coffee, one at a time. Invite your neighbors to go with you to these events. Soon you will know quite a few people in town. The mean girl attitude should die down a little if they see you are a town favorite. Once a month you should hang out with a new person. Throw a small party.

2. Since this happens in a group, another key is to isolate. If you see one of these women at the store ~ alone ~ confront her. This works even better if YOU have an audience. Be all, “There is no reason for you to be disrespectful to me.” She will be all humble, denying and apologetic.

3. Embarrass one of them when they say something. Especially if they are lower down on that social hierarchy. Again, best done in an audience of YOUR people. If they say a snarky comment say, “Are you OK?” They will stammer and get embarrassed.

4. This one is the hardest but can be the most effective. Start with the nicest (there has to be one) person in the group. Invite them over, meet up for coffee. Go on up in the group. Only hang out with these women individually. Yes, they will still bad mouth you. But when they do gossip it won’t be as bad and they will feel guilty about it.

Good Luck!

Inky

• This reply was modified 8 years ago by Inky.