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Reply To: wandering…

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#120632
Peter
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I would love to work on improving myself if the rest of the world won’t change for me… I have to accept that we’re all humans but that is very hard for me to do.. It’s hard for me to lower my expectations. So please?

The rest of the world is not going to change for you however you can find happiness becoming the change you would like to see.

One of the things I noticed in your post is a concern for how others see you and then how that impacts how you see them.

No matter how intuitive a person maybe we can only imagine what other people are thinking and feeling and the reality is we are wrong most of the time. It is also true that people do not think about us as much as we imagine they do. Like us they are trying to work out their own issues.

The rule of charity suggests that if there are multiple possible explanations for some experience and there is no way to determine which is the correct on, pick the better story.

The truth is it’s usually not a matter of not being able to determine which explanation or story is correct but that we don’t ask or act to find out. Instead we tend to assume that we ‘know’ and more often than not pick the most negative story that then sends our experience spiraling downward.

My advice stop worrying about what you imagine others are thinking about and focus on the person you want to be. Like will attract like.

As above so below we are influenced – by focusing on your outer experience your sense of self will be influenced even determined by outer experiences of which you have little control if any.

As Below so above we influence – by focusing on your inner experiences and who you are, becoming the changes you want to see, you take ownership of your sense of self and in that way start to influence your outer experiences.

There is a suggestion to ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’ Note that it does not say like.
The reality in life is that we will not always like everyone all the time, even those we love the most and that’s ok

That’s the thing, you can still Love someone even in those time you might not like them. In fact those are the times when love is exercised and put into practice and not just some concept or feeling.

If you can connect to the Truth in that and let go of this fear of liking or not liking your heart will lighten.

Start by working on how you love yourself in those time when you might not like yourself or are disappointed in yourself. Can you acknowledge your humanity and still love yourself enough to do better when you learn better without the negative self-talk. Forgive your failings as you forgive the failings of others?