Dear Shipp:

A tangled mass; a tangled mess, let’s untangle that mass/ mess.

First priority: your health. Your main job, main responsibility is to survive, to stay alive. With your history, this has to be attended with care. Taking time off from work (and indefinite time off sounds fine with me), is a good step. Well done. I wish I could take away your guilt of living off your husband- financially, you are one unit.

Make it clear to Emmet that you don’t want to die before him- his Parkinson is not the only thing that is going on. If he wants you around to be at his side as he deteriorates, better he has mercy on you and stop burdening you with his distress. Before he vents to you, he should consider: this will make me feel better, but it will make Shipp feel worse, now do I want to do that? (I hope the answer is No).

As far as your nephew: if it makes practical sense, give him a time limit.

regarding your daughter, (your and Emmet’s daughter)? Be assertive with her in a calm way Earlier instead of exploding Later. Giving her a time limit to move out, maybe. I almost always side with the children, minor or adult, and this is no exception here- but being assertive with her and telling her she needs to move out by a certain date is not incongruent with her well being. (Does she need psychotherapy, do you think? Is she troubled?)

I don’t think Emmet or your daughter wants the following situation: Emmet deteriorating with your daughter taking care of him..? If not, they should both attend to your well being!

anita