Dear ag401:

You wrote in your original post: ” it scares me to think that I’m doing it (anxiety, distress) to myself”-

When your environment growing up was “loud, obnoxious, negative, angry, sometimes filled with animosity.” When your family did not give you the things you needed (other than the material) and were sometimes against you when you were bullied- that means that you were alone, scared and alone.

You didn’t create your ongoing fear (anxiety), it was inflicted on you, as a child. If you grew up in a peaceful environment; if your parents gave you positive attention, if they made you feel loved and protected, safe, then you wouldn’t be anxious now.

When you are bullied as a child and not protected from that bullying by your parents (or even bullied by your parents as well), your bullies become a mental entity in your brain. The real life bullies become your mental bully. I call that bully an “Inner Bully” I have one too.

Do you agree so far?

anita