Dear ag401:

You wrote above, that after an argument with your parents, following their disapproval of your choices of friends, ” I felt a sudden shock, as if things could not be real, that I would have to defend myself against the people I loved, that although their intentions were to “better me” it only sought to destroy the person I am.” Your parents tried change who you are so to fit into what they want you to be. I agree: it can not make you a “better you.” It can only take you away from being you.

You wrote: “After that, for months I stopped doing the things I loved, I would spend afternoons at a friends house because it felt better to not be home.” As a result of your parents’ disapproval of you, wanting to change you into a person you are not, you naturally tried to please them, to not be yourself, and so you stopped doing the things you loved. You also got away from them when you can, so escape their efforts to destroy you.

From Illusions by Evermore: The Art of Duality:

“You’ve been living your whole life
Thinking that you are in control
The truth is that you are not in control
Most exactly, there is no you to be in control
..Everything that’s within your experience
Is entirely a product of past events

…The road you chose reflect where you gon’ go
If it’s looking cold, spark up that fire inside your soul”

What these words mean to me is that when you feel cold, depressed, it is because “there is no you.” trying to please your parents by no longer being you, means there is no you. And so it feels cold. If you want warmth, good feelings, spark up that fire inside your soul by taking control of your life, making the choices that are true to you being who you are.

Your thoughts/ feelings?

anita