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Hi Greenshade, You are not alone with your feelings. Many people feel anxious when things are going well because they are so afraid that this feeling wont or can’t last. We end up worrying about the future and attaching past events or experiences on it that reconfirms to us that it can’t or won’t last. And as you said, we end up sabotaging the outcome ourselves because of our behaviour or worries we attach to the situation. This usually stems from the fact that we find hard to accept change and endings. We are so afraid of endings that we do anything we can to try and hold on to certain situations in our lives. The thing about this is that no matter what we do, or how hard we try, things will always change and have some sort of ending. It is the natural process of life, and we can’t fight against it. We just need to realise that change and endings are not always bad. For example, the world would have no seasons if there were no change or endings. There would be no endings to problems, grief or pain. Changing our thoughts from fighting it to acceptance will greatly help the way you view situations in your life. Of course, I am not saying that everything will end quickly or badly. We don’t know what the future will bring so attaching our fears onto it, only puts us into a negative state and makes us worry and not be able to enjoy what it is that we are afraid of losing. And worse, sabotages the very thing we are trying to hold on to.
Who’s to say that your thoughts or feelings about something will stay the same in months to come? We seem to attach fears onto outcomes in the future when they may not even happen at all. And who’s to say that it won’t be our thoughts and feelings about the situation that will change, not the other persons or situation. How often have you feared an outcome so severely that it kept you awake all night, merely to find out that it was’t half as bad as you thought it would be or didn’t even happen? One of my favourite quotes is from a man called Bob Twain. He said “My life has been filled with terrible tragedies, most of which never happened”. He is basically stating that we always fear the worst and most of the time these things we fear, never even happen or are not as bad as we have been fearing.
Try and learn to be in the moment. Meditation is a great way to do this. If meditation isn’t your thing, there are many other ways that you can practice being in the moment instead of living in the past or future. Google “how to be in the present moment.” Mindfulness is an amazing way to achieve this. It will greatly help you appreciate what you are experiencing in the present. It will also enhance your feelings of joy and gratitude about the situation and life in general.
I am a Mindfulness/Life Coach (amongst other things) and will be happy to help you, free of charge if it was something you wanted.
You can contact me on:
Email: trucolours@hotmail.co.uk
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I wish you all the best in your journey.
Natalie