Hi Anita,
On added note:
Also I found that I am done with people dumping their emotional problems on me. I am searching for peace within myself and don’t really care or want to deal with other people’s troubles now. Does this make me cynical? I want emotional freedom and emotional love and disvalue shallow relationships. I feel as if my parents only see the physical surface of who I am, they don’t see the emotional side of me, they don’t see who I truly am. I want to be loved emotionally and not be a reservoir for their feelings, I don’t want them to keep dumping their negative feelings on me. It’s time they solve their own problems, I’m done. Does this make me selfish? If I withdraw from them and practice mindfulness and let them have their anger out, is that a good idea? I’m sorry, but there is a part of me that won’t forgive them because I’m not sure I want to forgive them. Does this make me a bad person? When I move out, I will find my own space and work on finding myself and going for my dreams. I want to focus on myself, making myself better and currently I’m going to take control of me and my life. I can’t be there for them until how I can be here for myself and I won’t make the same mistakes they did. Does the irritation I feel at them make me feel like an ungrateful person?