Hi pollypeeps17,
It seems to me like this situation has been completely thrown out of proportion and I’m sorry to hear this.
I agree he should’ve contacted you whilst he was out, the non response isn’t very nice – however, what was the length of non-response?
You say your marriage has nothing to do with his cousin.. but is it ok for you to involve his Mum by texting her asking if he was home? I sense some insecurity here, would that be right?
I think he felt smoothered by the fact that he had text you back saying he wanted a cuddle too and would get a taxi soon, but we all know when we’re having a laugh and a drink an hour feels like 10 minutes. A song he may have liked may have come on, he may have met up with an old friend or was just having a good time and didn’t realise the time.. at 10:45 you text and said you wanted a cuddle, I presume he text back around 11pm, no sign at 12pm.. that’s only an hour, which isn’t a long time really when you think about it especially if the taxi trip would’ve been 20ish minutes.
I’m trying not to go to deep into the facts of what has happened but it seems like some insecurity going on – why does it matter that he didn’t come home in a certain time frame? If he never came home at all I think that would be the concern. What if you were out and you said to him I’ll be home soon (no specifics) then your girl friends brought more drinks, your favorite song came on and you got chatting? Would he ask where you are?

Silent treatment from him isn’t good for anyone, particularly with the history you have. I’m sorry to hear that. I’m not sure you’re fully healed from a lot of things, self love, self appreciation and your own approval is very important.

Are you seeking help in a form of a counsellor?

I think sitting down with him, and only him, and explaining how you interpreted or felt from the situation would help.
Try to use I messages… “I felt worried because I thought ‘soon’ meant within the next hour, then when I couldn’t get hold of you I felt upset” Don’t say “I felt sad that YOU didn’t call me, therefore YOUR selfish” all he will hear is what he HAS or HASN’T done wrong and not how YOU feel.

Can I ask, why were you so worried when he didn’t come home when he said? Honestly…

Poppy