Dear Niki:

You wrote: ” He is saying he has to give answer to his parents, if I do not meet and tell him, they will think something negative. I mean, even right noe he is so much scared.”- excellent observation on your part.

“I asked him why does he fear so much, the way his parents behaved with him, he said let old things be let us not discuss that. Said he has also gone through a lot in past and let it be there.”- his answer would be very unacceptable for me, if I was you. What he calls “old things” are present things, not past and gone. He is still afraid of his parents, still not in control of his own life. He doesn’t want to discuss that? if you accept that and marry him, there will be a lot going on in your head that you will not be able to discuss with him, turmoil, conflict. You turn to him, and his answer: “Let us not discuss that.”

Your parents’ prediction that he will change after marriage is very unreliable. He is very likely to continue to be under their control, financial and otherwise, for as long as they live, or for as long as he lives.

Save yourself. I see the situation as such that you are in danger, in danger of a life of misery. I understand that his family is wealthy and that is a great attraction, for your parents, at the least. Most people are attracted to financial wealth. But if you are able to support yourself financially, to work, make your own money, take care of your material needs- you will be much better off not marrying him.

And so, my strong recommendation to you is- do not go back into a relationship with him. Your trust in him is broken for a reason: he broke it and … he doesn’t want to discuss it.

Next, I will re-read your previous posts and write to you again. I am interested in seeing if I can come up with more insight.

anita