Hi Inky,

For many years I had a similar relationship with my mother, always wanting her to make a move or to call me, to have a full and healthy relationship with me. I even had to make an appointment if I wanted to go over to her house and visit. One day, I realised that you cannot change people, no matter how hard you try or coerce them into being more as you would like them to be; at least not outwardly.

What you can do is 2 things. Firstly accept your father 100% as he is and think of him only with love. This involves letting go of the judgement entirely… no easy task…We are all on the same spiritual path, and as such, some of us are more willing to reach out and be loving than others. The ONLY person you have any control over in life is yourself. So, the second and unseen thing you can do, is to imagine the relationship you would like to have with him, your inner acceptance of who he is and where he is the beginning of helping him to change towards you. Once you begin to view a positive relationship with your father in your mind and let go of the outward appearance of how it seems, you change the energy vibration between you and he will start to want to connect with you. It is your judgment of him both inwardly and outwardly that you are feeling, that is keeping you apart, not his excuse that “its not in his nature”.

Refrain from self judgement as well. This just leads to a feeling of guilt which in itself is judging your self for a second time over…Just because you have been out of the loop, doesn’t make the person you are either good or bad; you are still your same loving, kind self. Try from now on to accept things as they are, without judgment and you will find more peace in your life if you can begin to do this. Just step back from circumstances for a bit, and observer them instead of jumping in immediately to judge. Most of us just spend our lives judging everything and everyone, and living what I call ‘unconsciously’…

Has it ever happened to you that you were thinking of someone that you haven’t seen or heard from in a long time, and suddenly out of the blue they call or email or show up in your life again? The reason for this is that your thought is an energy vibration, and as you think of that person you send out a vibrational message to them, which they pick up and respond to. This works much faster if you think on the other person with kindness, love or appreciation. You can do the same thing to find you father and have him contact you.

You have within you more power than you can ever imagine. You are not a victim of life and you don’t ever need to play that role either. If something feels ‘ wrong or bad’ to you, it is because it is not in tune with your own personal vibration…in other words if it feels wrong, it is wrong for you. You can use this as a guide to what is going on in your life and then choose whether or not to be a part of that situation.

If you can begin to watch your own thoughts minute to minute and change them from negative to positive, you will soon start to create a wonderful life for yourself, without judgement, fear, sadness etc…

I hope what I have suggested helps you to find more peace.

Namaste

Julia