Dear Poppyxo:

No need to apologize about the fact that I wasn’t clear about what you meant- you did nothing wrong.

A few thoughts:

I think lots and lots of medical doctors share your frustration or shared it, before they stop caring: people with bad habits come to see the doctors for health issues, obese people for example, having type 2 diabetes, and the doctor recommends losing weight. How often does the patient not take that advice? A whole lot. And indeed, the patient wants that “magic pill” you mentioned, a drug that will fix the problem.

Your core belief of not being good-enough (so common I don’t think there is a single individual who doesn’t or didn’t believe it at times) was not evident to me from your sharing on this thread. But now that you brought it up-

your I-am-not-good-enough (person, daughter, therapist, etc.) core belief, this is not going away anytime soon. It is a belief that requires more work over time. The work you do on yourself regarding this core belief gives you the experience you need to help people who share this core belief. The work itself that you do gives you experience that you cannot get any other way, not from reading a book, attending a lecture. You LIVE it and then you know it.

This core belief, as painful as it is at times, is your opportunity to learn from so you can help others, be a better therapist. You learn from it as you are engaged in the process of healing from it.

anita