Dear Alexandra:

I understand you loving him “too much to see clearly”- strong emotional attachment is often not congruent with reasonable thinking. We want something so desperately we make-believe it is possible or likely, when it is not possible at all, or, if possible, unlikely.

The pain you wish to go away, I think it is fueled by the pain you had as a child, related to maybe your mother abandoning you, and/ or other pain of being neglected or rejected by either her or your biological father earlier than 14. That pain is probably added to the pain over this man. If you could remove the earlier pain in competent psychotherapy, from the current pain, peel it off (over time, with work), you will be able to see clearly.

anita