Dear Anita

Thanks for the response:D As we get closer and closer to the AP tests, Andrew and I have become more competitive with each other, but I have lots of support from friends. I have been trying to search for the answers in life and have lost sight of the journey and I want to get back on track. There is that part of me that sees something more in life and wants to attain it. I appreciate the idea that I don’t have flaws because I am kind to people. There are people who aren’t the nicest people and I tend to isolate myself or sometimes just treat them with respect as well, in this way I also have some acquaintances who aren’t the best of character, but at least I have them under my wing. There is a saying “Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” I have a feeling I am that type of person who doesn’t want any enemies so that is why I try to get along with everyone. Some people think this makes me gullible and shows weakness of character. They think that I’m keeping those people close because I’m afraid to be hurt by them. And in a way, I am afraid of being hurt by them, but by keeping them close; I feel like I have control on who they see me as. The question in life that I have pondered and am still pondering is “Who am I really?”  I have often felt like this world seems ephemeral and I’m an entity walking around it looking out of myself at the world. The questions I have are:

Am I a gullible person for trying to be kind to everyone?

When I see the world through different perceptions, does that make me strange and different from others?

I feel as if I view the world from my soul rather than my physical being and my perception is different, yet being at my soul I feel like I am really here in the world. When looking through the doors of my soul, there is a detachment that I have and I make my best decisions then. There are times when I feel alone even with friends around and I also feel like there’s something more to life.

People have often asked me what I want in life and I find it hard to express what I truly want. So when they ask me, I tend to avoid their questions. How do I tell them that I’m also a philosopher, not just the scientist and that I’m trying to find myself?