Hello Tessa, I am fairly new to tiny buddha, but have had some great insight from fellow people in the recent past.  I am glad that you are typing out to share  – sometimes until we formally share with others, we do not feel we are truly aware of our advancements.  I although can not share the same exact details of what I have been struggling with as you – do entirely understand the “self love, be gentle with yourself revelation.” I think it is a true work in progress, especially for women as we tend to be so hard on ourselves and feel we must have it all and do it all (at the same time). I think it took me realizing that taking on “self hatred” and all that pressure usually had the OPPOSITE affect of what I was aiming for. The more pressure the worse the results, and the more pressure, the farther from the goal I would stray (mental or physical). It took me to reaching rock bottom to realize that none of this destructive behavior did anything except drag me down to the point of self despair, misery, and feeling like if i live one more moment like this i will collapse. and I did – I got to a point so bad, there was nothing but turning around.

I can’t say that I am an entirely new person now, but I do find myself stopping myself before getting to the deep depths of guilt and pressure on myself. I realize that I don’t have to fight to the point of true struggle whether that is a true fight, or just an internal struggle with myself. I realize that negativity only breeds more negativity, in your soul, and in your outward aura to others.  If in this life we focus on what we don’t have and the negativity of the world, we can only expect to have that in return.  Likewise, if we only focus on the negative aspects about ourselves, bodies, minds, or relationships, we will continue to have unhealthy relationships with those factors.  I commend you on your realizations!