Dear Meg:

You are welcome. You wrote that you are “trying to think through what (you) want to say to him when he returns”- I think what you say to him when he returns doesn’t matter, outside your feelings. In other words, whatever it is that you will say to him will not fix the relationship. The relationship dynamics are set in stone, at this point. No magic wording can dissolve that cement.

Do you think that there is something you can say to him that he will NOT dismiss? Anything you say to him that he will not point to as “your fault! your problem!” or otherwise dismissed, ignored?

anita