Hi Henry,

Boundaries are integral to who we are as beings. In addition – for the situation you posted, girls and women often have to watch out for themselves because of how vulnerable they are. You’re moving past her boundaries by telling her all of those things. It is unhealthy. You can be supportive without giving yourself up.

You have the right to be important. By using extreme examples such as Trump or criminals, you are drastically ignoring their lack of empathy. Pair empathy with boundaries and allowing yourself to live will allow you freedom. Boundaries are freedom and all people to feel safe. You and those around you deserve to feel safe.

By ignoring your needs and losing out on money, you are not allowing yourself to be safe.

If you wish to give up pleasure (however you see it) then that is your right. However, there is a huge difference between wants and needs, and you need to focus on your needs.