Thank you for you reply, Anita.

I think similarly. That the ‘almost BF’ (let’s call him ‘J’) was indeed seduced by the role of the rescuer. And that my former best friend, ‘L’ fulfilled that need better than I could.

Yes, perhaps it is the unfairness of the situation that distresses me. And definitely her betrayal. Although I thought he was becoming more than a friend, after 9 months of friendship. All of a sudden, no emails, no phone calls, no nothing from him, except an email which went something like, ‘We are sorry if this situation has caused unintentional hurt to anyone’ and signed J and L, which broke my heart. That was a personal email to me?

Oh, I think J. knew what he was doing, and he knew it would hurt me. He even tried to turn it onto me, saying something like ‘if you were indeed L’s best friend, as you claim to be, then you would have supported her, no matter what she did.’

Yes I would have, had I known about it. But you see, she was actually taking someone away from me. And because we were best friends, I had already confided to her just a week before that, now that I had known J. for quite a while, I thought it would be a good time to try a proper relationship. And she agreed that he was a nice man! Whilst all the time planning to take him away from me by fair means or foul, behind my back. She was in his house and in his bed within the week. J. didn’t even really know her!

L. and myself were best friends for over 30 years. Well, at least I thought we were. If she had said she was looking to leave her ex, I would have helped her in any way I could. The fact that she did it all behind my back, because the chap in question was my friend, not hers, hurt me very deeply. She betrayed my trust in her. She never even called to say she was sorry. I would never have done that to her, no matter how desperate I was.

But this is all history now. I just want to get on with my life, and stop thinking about them both. I just wish my thoughts would let me.

Jay.