Hi Anita thank you so much,

So the previous arguments were about his parents belittling me and my family. Also making statements like “why did you buy this or that for the house”, they intruted into our financial status, he told them basically everything about me and what i pay for and my student debt and they would mantion how it’s not good to have debt and how that needs to be taken care of first vs. other things.

Our personal arguments were in reference to house chores, he would conplain how I did not help him with the outise chores and I would conplain how he did not help me with the inside chores. Besides that I would get upset at him because of his attitude and his actions/what he said to me( this was right after I moved in with him and left my job and everything) and I tried to pack my bags twice and he stopped me. I admit that I was hot headed and also going through a lot because I was home sick, left my career and did not have a job at the time.

We always talked about our arguments and resolved them. After these incidents I never packed my bags  but I wanted to go out for a walk after an argument and once to a hotel room to clear my head. He stopped me everytime and every time we talked about why we were both upset and etc.

We hadnt had an argument get to that in over a year, our arguments were about chores and finances, he loves to save every penny and I liked to life comftorbly. He would turn the heat off in the winter and I wohld be cold and I would turn it back on. When i first moved in with him he would not flush the toulet after urinating, “trying to keep the water bill down”. I flushed and I told him that I was not gonna live like that, we werent struggling at all in regards to money.

He is 34 and I am 27, he would not wanna plan/do anything fun. We only went out to eat and mostly at like regular restaurants  nothing fancy or a dinner date. All he did was watch tv, play video games and he recently started playing golf. He recently played video games for hours a day. He never made any plans to take me anywhere. If we went somewhwerw it was because I planned it. I suggested many places I woukd like to go see and he never even looked into it.

I was basically a house wife on top of working 10 hrs a day plus commuting 2 hours. He worked 6 hours a day and commuted 1 hr total. He never ever made dinner for me or anything. Plus my job was physically more demanding then his. On top of that I worked midnights because I had no senority yet.

I admit that I was not perfect and that I had bad days but he was all i had and I loved him unconditionally. I always apologized if I was wrong and tried to work on my flaws. I cooked and when we were home together I would serve him first with a hot plate then I would make myself a plate. I really loved him and cared for him. He was kind to me as well, he would pick up my clothes from the dry cleaners at times, he would feed the dog and he would tell me kind words. He recently started acting different, he would say things like you will pay the bill for electricity because I had turned the heat on. And he would say that he does everything and that i dont do much reffering to chores. 3 weeks before we broke up he was very distant, as I mentioned he played video games a lot! From like 4 pm to 9-10 pm. He said he was tired for sex. He seemed very depressed and I even mention it to him that he appeared depressed to me. He said he wasn’t.

It is weird, this whole thing the way it played out does not make sense.

Also the initial reasons for him breaking it off were like this after he said he can’t come to the wedding if his parents are not there and I got so mad and said ok let me know so i can find a roomate because obviously our status will change.

1. He came home the following day, rushed in and said in a trembling voice, not looking at me, in his entire work outfit and shoes “i dont think we are meant to be together”, i had an anxiety attack my world was crushed his reasoning was “I love you but this gut feeling is not going away and I dont think we are compatible”

2. Two weeks later (I had left and told him I need a few days  it to contact me), he contacted me and I did not reapond, when I came back he said “I wasnt sure if I made the right decision but you proved to me that i did” meaning my no response/actions were wrong

3. A few days passed and  now the new line was “i am not in love with u but i care for u”

4.after seeing that I could  not accept the reasons he was giving me he said “i dont love you anymore”

I feel as you said that he is trying to find something to justify his decision and that he is pushing me away further with the words, but idk why.

He has always been a thoughtful person and never makes sudden/impulsive decisions. He stormed in that day like he had developed courage to say those words and he did not even want to try to work it out. He refused counseling and said i dont think it will help.

I truly believe his parents gave him an ultimatum. There is no logic behind his actions.