Hi Anita,

Thank you for taking the time to consider my case and be so thoughtful in your response. It means a lot to me and I really appreciate that.

My response to some points you’ve raised are:

– “What other, future consequences (as a practicing doctor, otherwise) are you afraid of?”

>> The medical field is cut throat, and group strength means a lot. My fears are that doctors will nitpick me for mistakes I make and badmouth me to others and ruin my credibility. This will affect my career progress. I will do my best to maintain a professional relationship with everyone, enemies and frienemies included, but unfortunately, once bridges are burnt (including non-professional bridges), people have a tendency to take it into the professional realm and can quite possibly continue to tarnish my career.

– 6. “unfortunately, I would let them go as well, have no contact, but let them know, if they were never disrespectful to you directly, that you appreciate it.”

>> I plan to say something like “I really appreciate your company. Like yourself, there are many good people that I’m glad to have met, but I’ve moved on with life and my situation has changed. If we cross paths in the future, we’ll stop by for a chat then. All the best with everything.”

7. “I didn’t understand your question. Can you elaborate- the older woman part?”

>> Basically, I have met great people who are of all ages. I have gone out with (romantically) with women who are 4-5 years older, because we connected emotionally. However, many would consider this unacceptable for someone in their 20s, esp people from non-western cultures. It has previously led to me being questioned on why I’m hanging out with a woman who is older than me, wtf is wrong with me, why can’t I just find a girl my age etc. When multiple people ask me that, it makes me feel down and abnormal, and uncomfortable with the criticisms. It makes me wonder why people can’t just mind their own business and why they feel the need to butt in on my life.

I’ve read through the rest of our advice to the individual specific situations and am trying to take it on board. The question I have is, if you look away and ignore someone for their nonsense questions, and at some point you may need that person (like I did for translation), would that person not crush you as they have done so to me in the past? I guess if the person had no power over you (they aren’t your boss, you don’t need them for translation or group work or whatever), then it’s pretty straight forward to ignore them, but when you need them for something, they basically have power over you, so I find it difficult to ignore such people.

Once again, thanks a lot for your advice.