Dear James:

You are welcome.

Let me see if I understand: these medical school bullies bullied you when you were in their country. Now you are back to your country and they are interested in working as medical doctors in your current country. Am I correct? If so, they are not in a position of power over you. In the past you needed their help in translating, you wrote, but not anymore, since you are no longer a student in their country.

How can they possibly hurt you professionally if they are not employed as doctors, if they are not employed in the same place as you and if they are not your supervisors?

In the US there are attorneys who are also medical doctors. They handle MD’s legal issues, understanding medicine and law. If you could talk to such a person and find out if and how those bullies can hurt your professional career as an MD, that could clarify if there is at all a basis in reality to your fears.

You were not protected from bullies in high school or in medical school. I do hope that the law will protect you as a practicing medical doctor. As a MD, you may finally be protected.

I think that it is very important that you have no contact whatsoever with those bullies (and with people friends with those bullies) and have them all be in your past. To be nice to any of them, to help them in any way, to associate with them in any form will keep you in a fearful state of mind and give them further opportunities to hurt you.

Regarding dating an older woman- it is your business, of course, and no one else’s.

I do hope that your experience of being bullied has ended. It is regrettable that it ever took place. Do not accommodate bullies/ abusers. Do not submit to them, or to anyone who disrespects you.

anita