@anita @Mimi

Thank you both for your helpful replies. It guided my thinking in a better direction, and ultimately I think I look forward to spending a little more time with them before the year is over. We’ll have some last hurrahs at graduation parties, and after that, I get to move on to better things for my well-being.

Last night I also came to an epiphany that I was trying to build my confidence in myself for the wrong reasons- so that others would see me as confident. I was continuing to work from a place of self-doubt and need for acceptance instead of accepting myself. I believe my final challenge in this chapter of my life will be that of recognizing my innate value as a human being, and that no matter what mistakes I might make (anxiety over future events) or mistakes I have made (past events), none of them detracts from my value. And if people can’t see that, well, then they shouldn’t be in my life in the first place (criticism.)

I think I have found the root cause for my anxiety… and I haven’t felt this sense of knowing in years. Here’s hoping I can now build myself up and have generalized anxiety pack its bags and move out, because I no longer need it as a defense mechanism. There is no failure- there is only moving forward.

Thanks again for your replies and I wish you well!