Hi Anita,

I titled the thread “In shock – literally” because at the moment I did go into shock. My boyfriend withdrawing does happen often but I sat down and spoke with my sisters on the issue and they opened my eyes to some things. I enable his disrespectful  behavior because I’m so tolerant and I also didn’t question him withdrawing since I wanted a break for quite some time… It had me thinking about the boundaries I don’t have in my current relationship and for myself and that’s when I realized that I’d built an identity out of my relationship. Without him I am still someone, I’m just very disconnected to her. I was shocked at how far I’d thought I’d come in my journey just to find out I was “growing” on all the wrong pretenses. I tried to find my worth in a man, I tried to find confidence in appearances alone, I tried to basically create a foundation for my life that had nothing to do with me. I was extremely upset with myself, so much so I couldn’t stop crying. I’ve never felt this unbalanced before and I’m not sure how to bounce back.