Greetings Hemmingway…

What a thought provoking post indeed, and very much appreciated. Your question of, “My point is, I became a better man. How do I stay this way?” makes me think of how I try to be a better man which I would like to share. When I told my best friend, Troy, that, before my daughter was born, I told him that I am going to be a good father to her. He threw me a curve ball by asking me, “How do you know?” You have never been a father before. I thought for a millisecond and said, “I’m just going to do the opposite my step-father did. If that requires me to revisit painful memories to make decisions that are correct, then I’ll gladly go there.” Hemmingway to me that’s sad commentary for someone to make, it paints a toxic picture against a backdrop of uncertainty. But those experiences serve me very well. And to this day I am forever grateful for what that abusive man gave me-what he gave me, was knowledge to not be like him.

I try my very best to maintain being a better man-not better than anyone else, but better than I used to be, which often times,  is recent as yesterday. I think back to perhaps, 1 hour ago, 2 weeks ago, or even 31 years ago, or whatever time frame, looking in the review mirror of my life and how I behaved, how I acted, what my thoughts were. I keep thinking that where and how I “grew” in terms of me needing to learn how to be a better person, somewhere in those thoughts my negative perceptions, emotions, thoughts, etc kept raising their ugly head. It is then that I reflect on what I said about being a father, I’ll just do the opposite when I have the slightest hint, that thoughts, emotions, behaviors being negative in personality are trying to dominate. I totally accept responsibility for the seemingly babbling, confusion that I just wrote.

One thing that I have incorporated in my personal constitution is something to give me good direction. I came up with a belief that I live by everyday…The ONLY resign I wake up every morning is because I have been given another chance to do things right and to do the right things. At the end of the day, I guarantee that when I look at my “how-did-I-do-report card” it is not a 4.0 GPA with honors. But that philosophy has served me well as a starting point.

Just be ever so present, mindful, Hemmingway, with your thoughts, feelings etc and continue to nurture what you already are-a better man. Therapy? You are so far ahead of that it’s CRAZEEEEE! You already have 3 therapist’s, your heart, your soul, your conscience.

Pearce Hawk