Dear Amy:

I understand your desire to be in touch with your brother and nephews. But if your SIL is rude to your husband, and has been so repeatedly, and he is hurt by her, I believe, it is your responsibility to take his side, to support him.

If you reach out to your brother (who supports his wife) and to his children (who understandably support their mother, not being able to apply an objective evaluation of the situation), then… who is supporting your husband? In effect, reaching out to them is supporting their mistreatment of your husband.

The condition for people to be in your life, I believe, is that they respect you and your husband. It is up to people to live up to this reasonable condition, if they want your presence in their lives.

anita