Dear Lisa:

There is a lot of aggression in relationships/ marriages, often not the overt kind. So when a man caters to a woman’s every whim, when the woman is in control within the context of a Win (for her)- Lose (for him) relationship, it is not because she is special and loved; it is because she is the aggressive party. She punishes the man if he doesn’t submit (aggression) and rewards him when he does.

What you want is to be loved; you wrote: “my loyalty and love is rejected I meant I would give that effortlessly to someone who loved me”- my point in this post is that love, unfortunately, is less common than aggression in relationships.

An aggressive woman is feared, really, not loved; she is dominant, not special.

anita