Dear Mepina:

I am glad you are back with another update. Being angry at yourself is not helpful. Instead be gentle with yourself. Gentleness and understanding of what motivates you will help.

I am thinking as I type this, that there is a motivation, in you, to make this relationship work after all, a motivation to be with him in a relationship. I can’t figure why else you will allow him into your life, creating such misery in you.

You are very clear about his strategy and that it will not be a good idea to be in a relationship with him, rationally you understand this. Emotionally, I believe, there is a motivation that drives you to allow him in your life. Consider my suggestion here, and if you find this motivation, be gentle with yourself for having it. Accept that you do.

Accepting a motivation you dislike and wish you didn’t have is what is necessary to do for the purpose of not … obeying that motivation blindly. Once you see it, accept it without judgment, you will be able to function better.

anita