Hi Anita,

Thank you for this thoughtful and honest analysis. I think you are spot on. I am not entirely sure of the steps I should take from here, though. Upon further reflection, the truth is, that my family did not have any intention to hurt me through all of this. They also stopped (except for maybe my sister) after I had clearly crossed the childhood stage into adolescence and puberty. I think what I find upsetting in trying to let this go, is the amount of time I have spent thinking about it over the years (thereby spending even more time thinking about it and continuing to feel regretful). There are times where I basically think “ugh just this one thing that keeps bothering me, no one else has to go through this, things would be just perfect in my life if it wasn’t for these incident(s).” On further analysis, I am actually pretty sure all of that is false…

I don’t think there are any questions I have about the teasing. I think it might have made me more uncomfortable because it was family teasing me, even though they probably didn’t mean anything by it. There were times I have been teased by others as well, like in the locker room in PE class. Being a person of color has also contributed to my body issues (to some extent). I remember being 7-8 old and thinking about how I could maybe make my skin lighter with some type of special cream; I would wear long sleeves even when it was hot out as an attempt to cover up my dark-skinned arms, because most of the kids in my class were fair-skinned caucasians or asians. I also developed body hair on my arms and legs much earlier than others, and remember being teased about this on the playground. I would again wear long sleeves/pants on hot days to cover this up. I’m not as tall as I would like to be, and I think this contributes negatively to my self image. I say this to give you an idea of what other influences (subconscious, or conscious) there may be on my body image.

My family has done some really amazing things for me over the years, so this may be why I am confused about the teasing because of the contrast between these two behaviors. I am not entirely certain that I will indeed discuss this with them, as I almost feel like that would make the same discomfort fresh again. What do you think?

One thought I did have was to bring it up casually. I have been considering for quite some time to join a gym, so perhaps I could begin by telling my parents about this, and explain why I want to (to get fit). I have tried to get started with gyms in the past, but it doesn’t tend to become a habit. I could ask for their support/encouragement in this process, and maybe talk about how/why I have had body issues in the past (explain the teasing, both from them, and otherwise).

Thank you again Anita. I will also say that just talking with you about this on this forum has helped clear my head a lot.

Enjoy your evening!

Nick