Monk I would like to be open minded about my situation, I try to be open minded and I do read what people write and work it out.  I am bitter and I do generalise when I am particularly upset. Am I prejudiced against all men? I don’t think I am, I don’t know. There have been a lot of men I admire whom I have never met but my personal experiences with them have not been so great. Even in the ones I admire I look for those flaws which do seem universal in the hope that I am proven wrong. I do believe that all people are individuals and the more individualistic a man is, meaning following his own path and not what impresses the world, is what I admire.

I have seen skeleton sledding. I am a huge Olympics fan. I would imagine it taking a lot of focus. I understand what you are trying to say about not losing focus.

I have tried to visualize myself with a man and creating the life I want but it’s very easy for me to lose focus because of my endless issues. In this particular area of my life I have been reading about “love avoidance.” Of all the things people do who have this problem, sabotaging relationships I am the queen of.

I will write down as you advise after visualizing myself with a man in a life I want to be a part of and keep telling myself that I can make it happen.

My reactions to men for me I have always felt have been in psychological self defense over feeling rejected or feeling guilty rejecting someone else. Acceptence overall in society is very important to me and I am overwhelmed by that.

I know the “men hate me” is what I think in my mind because I always thought that one man would come along and be different from most of the ones I encountered in my life but it seemed they were not interested in me and I slowly became more and more resentful, especially talking with the men who married women I knew.

I wouldn’t feel stupid at all visualizing something so wonderful. My only concern would be easily losing my focus and crashing right back into depression and bitterness again.

Thank you for the advice.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 5 months ago by Lisa.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 5 months ago by Lisa.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 5 months ago by Lisa.