Hi Daniela,

I think one of the best ways to get over relationships is to work on yourself. Who is the person you want to be? What do you want to change about yourself? You can make a list of things, and each day make progress toward a goal. “What can I do today to become better?” Focus on the magic of progress, on the ability to be able to become the person you want to. Try to create possibilities instead of lingering over things that you can’t change.

You don’t need sex to be happy. As you seem to realize, there is definitely a dangerous side to intimacy, but having a partner you can trust to do that with is not worth feeling unsafe. There are definitely creative ways to stimulate yourself (mentally, of course ;). And who knows? Maybe you can still find the love of your life while you are working on yourself. I think it was actually Dawg The Bounty Hunter who once said, “It was only when I started to love myself did true love find me”.