Lucy, I do not think there is a private message option as I have tried to do that as well. I know it is a lot to read. I tried to explain the way my life has pretty much gone on since birth so it took a bit of time.
How did we grow up different? I am sorry that you grew up in an unfriendly environment and that you have felt lonely. I think being an adult can only get someone so far in overcoming feelings you carry with you for a long time. I am happy for you though if you can resist negativity. Sometimes, actually a lot of the time I feel like a failure because others were able to overcome things I was not able to overcome. I can’t tell you how many times I have watched or read about someone who seemed to have the same problems as I have and the announcer or the author of the book says “and she has been married to”….or “and her children”….and then I don’t listen or read anymore because they are really not like me at all. It feels like no one out there is like me.
Survival was my only option in life. Nothing else was there for me. I used to be very active. I also practised yoga and always felt amazing after the class. Meditation is very difficult for me. It’s easier with other people because I feel others will see me not meditating so it pushes me into doing it. When I’m alone I give up after 1 minute. Something always distracts me and I have no one to answer to but myself. I believe in it though but I can’t do anything for myself unless I know I am being critiqued however subtly. I know ut works wonders for anxiety and I applaud you for being able to do it.
I want so badly to be able to help people but sometimes I wonder if I am able to give anything to anyone. Thank you for posting in my thread and I will certainly try to help you as well. Feel free to post in this thread if you like anything that you need help with. If I can not offer good advice I’m sure others can. Whatever you like.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 