Dear Cruzzie:

You asked for “any wisdom or insight as to why this may be happening?”- my in-sight, what I see, is your need to have a girlfriend, your need to love and be loved in return. An inborn and natural human need. Nothing more, nothing less.

You asked for “Any advice at all about navigating through sadness, letting go, breakups….please?”-

1. Don’t try to not think about her because it doesn’t work: ” the harder I try (to stop thinking about her) the more she creeps into my mind”.

2.  When you think about her, think about how she hurt you, again and again direct your thinking to the hurt: ” This person hurt me, immensely. But I loved her deeply, so it makes it all the worse. I do miss her (when you miss her, remind yourself of that immense hurt)… I have no hate in my heart towards her, despite her hurting me the way she did (no requirement that you hate her, but that immense hurt requires another reminder).

3. Focus on your life, here-and-now.

anita