Anita I have come up with a plan of some sort. It is starting out as the others did with many goals written but this time I added affirmations in the front of my binder to try to change my thought patterns. I know what to do intellectually, it’s my stubborn thoughts that I have been carrying around with me since I was a teen and then my emotions and sometimes my pmdd takes over and I go back to the beginning of feeling I need to do something.
I don’t know how to get around this because when any of the above kicks in I become incredibly negative and then all the obstacles come up. I don’t know how to participate in something unless everything is perfect. Like if I didn’t have financial woes I could pay for intensive personality makeover or physically be put back into shape.
I am feeling good about what I accomplished this weekend but know all too well my obstacles sure to come up: fear, hurt, loneliness, judging all by the comments of some. I wanted to share with you my feelings on some of the comments posted after some other online articles but not sure if it’s productive.
I also need to see some results rather quickly and become discouraged if I take away my coping methods and nothing comes of it. I have so many issues that are interlinked that I can not set aside even one of them.
I put myself on a more nutritional diet today and plan on walking back and forth to work, as well as some strength training and yoga this week. I want to do it for my health but it’s always in the back of my mind to acheive looking the way I onced looked. I know I am babbling now and even stopped writing about what I am afraid of in my goal settings.
I have a whole binder of things I need to focus on that I worked on this weekend as well as some physical work around the house maybe I am a little fatigued. I should post tomorrow after a bit of rest…
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